Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
