i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
