You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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