There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
