I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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