Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We need to get me chipped asap
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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