Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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