Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
