People in love make me want to vomit
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
