I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
