It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize