Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dick very happy bro
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
