Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
