how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
