hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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