so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
50% drunk capacity currently
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
