sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
