My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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