And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
