please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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