how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
