we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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