My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
