he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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