sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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