Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
