so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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