im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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