I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
