Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
