Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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