My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
