Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Come on in and take your pants off
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