I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
