I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
3pm strippers are depressing
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
