It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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