i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
