His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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