I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize