Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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