Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
