your parents love me but you hate me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
