is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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