I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize