But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Enjoy the penises
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
