I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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