fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
