it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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