I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
