I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
