they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize