If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
