Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
