yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
im on a boat
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