hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize