pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
