Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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