I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize