so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm too high and old for this...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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