Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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