I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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